"the most basic provisioning system" I guess you have used Manual Configuration (via BIOS MEBx interface).
Please bare in mind that MEBx keyboard layout is always US - regardless of your physical key layout.
So there is risk that AMT administrator (admin) password that is synchronized to new MEBx password you have entered during Manual Configuration is different that you type in Real VNC viewer and/or AMT Commander.
I would recommend to type your AMT admin password (the one you believe it is) in the notepad.exe - open AMT web UI http://<IP_Address_of_AMT>:16992
then use for login username:admin and copy -paste your AMT admin password from the notepad app.
If this connects use same proces for AMT commander when adding new Computer.
Please note also that AMT admin password is synched to new MEBx password ONLY during Manual Cofiguration (from Unconfigured state). Then those both password live their separate lives.
You can change AMT administrator password via AMT Web UI and MEBx password via MEBx (only). Changing one does not change the other one.
already done the copy paste password from notepad, also Manageability Commander Tool responds differently if I use the right or wrong password
if I use the right one, the frist time I try to connect the button changes it's caption to "abort connection" for 5-6 seconds, after first try when I hit connect it gives the "abort connection" for only like half a second
if password is wrong it always takes like 10-20 seconds with the "abort connection" caption
so I can say for sure it is not a password issue
what I don't understand is, what are the requirements for that button to work?, because I'm guessing that is what's wrong at this point, and I can't find anywhere that tells me that in order to use that tool I need AMT to be provisioned in certain way or with certain parameters enabled
keep in mind that with real vnc pro I can kvm, and with now I don't remember the name of the tool I can send iso images over IDER/SOL
Manageability Commander Tool 7.x (whole kit) is very, very old - EOL'ed already since 2011.
Please use the latest version of Intel® AMT Open Source Manageability Developer Tool Kit Mesh Edition you can download from http://opentools.homeip.net/open-manageability .