I forgot to mention how I connect my hardware. laptop>hdmi>home theater>hdmi>tv
the sony has two inputs (hdmi) and one out so I just need 2 hdmi cables for the whole sistem.
Note that the HDMI has two channels. In one channel it will transmit Video and the other one will transmit Audio.
Based on your description, you need to use an AV receiver. This device will split the audio and video when using the HDMI for the proper functionality in your system.
I have had my PS3 also connected and have been able to play surround (same way: PS3>hdmi>HT>hdmi>TV) so I don't think it is because of the equipment. Many graphics have options to manage the audio but the intel doesn't, it is a huge flaw since this component is incapable of successfully recognize the 5.1 functionality in my home theater and doesn't let anything change the options.