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AlexanderR is correct about the memory. It MUST be 1.35v memory or it will not function. Quite a few folks have railed about their "defective" NUCs, only to find the problem was that they were using incompatible memory.
As for the remotes, anything that uses the RC6 standard will work. I've personally bought one online that worked perfectly and also found a couple at my local Goodwill that also worked great. I can't say for certain but I believe most remotes that have a Windows button (has the Windows logo on it) will work. As long as the remote is RC6 you should be fine. Logitech Harmony remotes work as well.